I have been in the medical and health field for over a decade. I have passed out thousands of medications and vitamins, and have been part of many medical procedures. As a nurse, I have had the privilege to get a front row seat to how things work for people. I have been impressed, unimpressed, grateful, and everything in between when it comes to the many different healing modalities available. And thank goodness we have them all!

When I was in both, Nursing School and my Nurse Practitioner program, I learned about hundreds of different medications, nutritional interventions, exercise, etc. I felt like I entered the medical field prepared. 

And in many ways, I was. 

However, since I have graduated some studies came out that, quite frankly, shocked me but didn’t surprise me. In particular, data from the longest study in human history started making headline news. This study is from Harvard, and over 80 years ago they asked, “What was the significant factor of human longevity?” The researchers hypothesized that it would be nutrition, exercise, or genetics. Those are all very reasonable hypotheses. 

And none of them were true. 

It turned out that the most significant factor of human longevity is actually the quality of our relationships. 

You can eat right, exercise well, take all of your supplements (and indeed, keep doing those things), but I am here to scream from the rooftops that the quality of your relationships need to be your highest priority. 

During my career as a nurse, I have had the opportunity to talk to thousands of people in depth. I will say the majority of those conversations, at some point, had the patient discussing the pain of not having satisfaction in their human interactions or relationships. When I had been doing 1:1 Mind Body work with people and getting them into a hypnotic state, that was almost ALWAYS the place they went. 

Why is this? I believe it’s because relationships are why we are human and why we are here. It is to experience deep, safe, caring connections. And if we are not having this need met, it’s like trying to cure dehydration without water. It’s not a nicety for us to have these types of relationships, it is a necessity. 

Harvard wrote that the ingredients of these connections are like such:

• Safety and security: Who would you call if you woke up scared in the middle of the night? Who would you turn to in a moment of crisis?
• Learning and growth: Who encourages you to try new things, to take chances, to pursue your life’s goals?
• Emotional closeness and confiding: Who knows everything (or most things) about you? Who can you call on when you’re feeling low and be honest with about how you’re feeling?
• Identity affirmation and shared experience: Is there someone in your life who has shared many experiences with you and who helps you strengthen your sense of who you are?
• Romantic intimacy: Do you feel satisfied with the amount of romantic intimacy in your life?
• Help (both informational and practical): Who do you turn to if you need some expertise or help solving a practical problem (e.g., planting a tree, fixing your WiFi connection).
• Fun and relaxation: Who makes you laugh? Who do you call to see a movie or go on a road trip with who makes you feel connected and at ease?

How good would it feel to have a soup of these kinds of connections in your life, if you don’t already?

This is why I created The SoulGlow Clinic for women… we need connection as medicine. (Check it out at www.erikashepard.com/soulglowclinic). It is, no doubt, more difficult to meet people as an adult, especially in today’s hybrid and online world. 

Other ways to meet people nowadays are www.meetup.com. Check local facebook groups as there are groups that are made to create community and get togethers. Men, check out Sacred Sons or other men’s groups. Google the kind of group or people you would want to meet and see if that exists. Consider being the one to create it!

The bottom line is you guys, we need each other. We NEED to be engaging in intentional community (like SoulGlow!) We need to be working on relational satisfaction. Work deeper with people who are willing to co-create that with you, and create boundaries around people who are not capable of that. 

More than nutrition, exercise, or any other intervention, I ensure my patients and clients are engaging in relational health. Everything else gets to happen, but this is the thing we are all feeling the lack of, and not talking about solutions to nearly enough. 

So with that, check out my SoulGlow Clinic, go on meetup, call your friend you haven’t talked to in awhile. You are worthy of deeper connection, need it, and it’s possible to create a life rich in them.

Xo,