In 2017, I went through a life overhaul. Many of you are experiencing that now. I feel like I just went through a round 2 of that over here and barely made it out!
But in 2017 was the first time in my life I faced fear HEAD ON. I left my marriage. Two weeks after that, the job I had been interning at let me go due to budget changes and they couldn’t pay me going forward.
Oh snap. Fear.
Fear fear fear and more fear. I had always had a steady job and paycheck. Pretty much since I was 16 years old.
Then I got another job. Cause if you lose one, get another. Sure, it wasn’t the PERFECT job. I wasn’t totally in love with the people or the setting. I didn’t quite jive with it. But hey! It was money honey!
Then 4 weeks after taking that job, I was let go as the guy described it as “not a good fit.”
This was one of my “on the floor in a ball” moments. In my case, on the floor came with a fluffy cat and tissues. And I realized something. I had spent most of my life sacrificing my heart, not my fears. My favorite definition is sacrifice is, “To give up for something precious.” What I realized is I had made my heart the lamb and safety gold. When really what was in my heart was the gold, and the way to get the gold in my heart was giving up the fear.
In this moment, I decided I was going to explore what was in my heart. Yes, I needed to make money and pay my bills, and I could find creative ways to do that. And I did by being an Airbnb host. But I didn’t want to settle on my career and path forward any longer.
I felt like I had been given a gift… being let go of jobs I “should” have in order to make a job I really wanted. This cannot be done overnight necessarily, so I thought to myself, “What is in my heart that I can do now while I build my practice?”
Travel. I decided to get a part-time job with the airline to get free flights. That made my heart SING! This did not come without fear. Fear of money. Fear of judgement. Fear of thwarting my career by working a part-time entry level job with the airline.
Then I thought, “What if I sacrificed those fears?” I decided to give up the big pay checks (temporarily), the judgement, the what ifs of thwarting career in order to obtain the precious joys of driving on the Road to Hana in Hawaii, for swimming with the pigs in the Bahamas, for doing a photo shoot at the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland, and seeing the Northern Lights and riding sled dogs in Sweden.
I sacrificed the fear for the gold in my heart, and I was richer than ever. Yes, money matters, and it has allowed my the opportunity to build up my career the way I wanted to FEEL. I wanted my career to have my heart singing, too.
So as you check yourself, I want you to consider the following:
I was reminded by a friend today that baby steps are key on the way to what we want. Doesn’t mean there aren’t big leaps in there, but baby steps cumulate to big chunks. Start with one fear. Sometimes when we bite off too much, we scare ourselves more.
Remember what is worth gold in your heart. That’s where the treasure is. Shine on and shine bright y’all.