September 29, 2023

Wonderful Requires Uncomfortable


In Augsut I packed up my entire life and moved across the country from North Carolina to Colorado. How exciting it has been to explore my new home, which also happens to be one of the most BEAUTIFUL places on earth! I have mountains, rivers, trails, rainbows, and the most fabulous skyscape that goes on forever. ALL of my favorite shops and restaurants are within a few miles. It’s truly my little heaven on earth.

And it’s been SUPER uncomfortable.

Here’s the thing we aren’t talking about enough; how much positive change will likely stir-up feelings of discomfort and uncertainty. Unless we can prepare, welcome, and support these feelings of discomfort, we may shy from new change, even when it is positive.

I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen in my practice over the years who WANT change, have amazing visions for what that change is for them, but don’t do it. Why?

Is there something wrong with you or me that makes positive change so uncomfortable? Turns out, no. Our nervous systems are designed to favor certainty, because there is more perceived safety in predictability. Neuroscience has shown in studies that uncertainty (from a new or unknown situation) registers in similar areas of the brain as failure. This is why newness can feel so uncomfortable, and even at times, painful. This happens when a new situation is awesome and a total upgrade! The fear of feeling this can leave many of us stuck where we are instead of moving toward positive growth and change.

But when we know we are wired to feel this way with newness, we can support our nervous systems through a change process so we can embrace new and positive shifts in a way that doesn’t overwhelm us.

If we want to make shifts in our life, there is something we need to accept…


You are not going to grow, expand, level-up, and shift in the ways you want to unless you’re willing to feel some intermittent mild to moderate (and at times, major) discomfort. Do you want things to be wonderful? Well then you have to get uncomfortable and move into your newness and unknown. Your nervous system and body will not know how to register it at first as you’re shifting, and that is NORMAL. And we need to expect it as we journey.

As I took the leap and drove over 2,000 miles through multiple time zones with my friends, I thought about the multiple feelings I was experiencing and how to support my body and nervous system into its new uncomfortable wonderful. Here’s 3 ways to support yourself as you feel discomfort while going through postive change:

  1. Slow down and breathe. Slowing down allows the mind and body to calm down. Breathing slowly and intentionally can bring relief so anxiety and stress doesn’t take over.
  2. Remind yourself daily why this is a positive change. When your discomfort kicks up, remind yourself why the change is positive. You can write it in a journal, or put a post it on your mirror. Reinforce why this is positive and safe change so your body and nervous system can more quickly register and integrate it.
  3. Go in with the mindset that everything is happening for you. This one is a game-changer. When I shifted my mindset to, “Everything is happening for me,” my mind and body go into this more trusting space and don’t worry so much about the new and unknown. I invite you to practice this mindset for yourself as it can bring ease to any change.

As I continue to unpack and nest, the discomfort comes and goes. Some days I have none, and others it is strong and seemingly out of nowhere. This makes sense because I’ve never lived here before, don’t know anyone, and my nervous system and body don’t register this new environment. However, I’ve already met some incredibly kind people, seen rainbows that have lasted for hours, have networked with some great new prospects, and am feeling so in love with my new house it makes me smile. I would’ve experienced none of this if I hadn’t chosen this wonderful new chapter of my life.

Choose wonderful, and give yourself the support you need along the way.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *