I was having a conversation with a male friend of mine last week while we were out for appetizers.
He was catching me up on his week, and it was a symphony of busy. All of the emails, phone calls, and “to-do’s…” All valid stuff, however there was one common theme:
He was in the act of doing everything/making everything happen on his own.
Once he was wrapping up his story, I interjected and told him, “Hey, you know you don’t have to do everything on your own, right? He looked at me dead in the face, as if he didn’t know what to do with what I was saying. But there was also a twinkle of curiosity in his eye.
Now, before I go on, the only reason I could recognize that happening is because I am all too familiar. I am fluent in the lone-wolf, independent boss woman solopreneur, single woman in the city way of being. And even though this “lone-wolf, do it all, hyper independent” way of being is glorified in our society, it is actually destroying us, both physically and mentally.
So after I realized that this way of being wasn’t serving me (and never would) I spent the next several years after my rock-bottom burnout finding a new way to be.
A way where I allowed more support, help, teamwork, and community in my life in ways that felt in sync with who I am that felt nourishing and good. I also learned to let go and trust the process.
So with all of this in my awareness, I tell him how there’s this “other way.” You could tell he was locked in, intrigued, and open. “You can ask for help, pass things off, and let go and trust the process.”
All of those are nice, however the thing that caught his attention. and what he needs right now, was the last part.
“Yeah, but how do you know when to take action versus letting go?” A VERY good question from someone who is completely on the hamster wheel of always taking action!
Here is what I can say from my own experience; the answer is both simple and not simple at the same time… It is going through the process of getting out of your head and back into your body.
Now before you go foofoo that answer, hear me out with openness if you’re ready to do that.
The BIGGEST shift I made in order to be able to know when to take action versus letting go is being in my body versus my head through Mind Body and Somatic work. This allowed me to safely FEEL again in my body, tune into my “gut” feeling in big ways, sense my intuition, and recognize/discern the different signals my body was giving me in relation to the world around me. I now had this whole new operating system to work with (which was there the whole time, just muffled by my very loud and overactive mind).
We ALL have this operating system in our bodies (even the most analytical thinkers). Some have different gifts, and some may be stronger than others; however, everyone has the ability to be in their body and listen from FEELING and SENSING, versus simply thinking until our brains explode trying to figure it all out. This has been one of the biggest game changers in my life, and has helped provide healing and relief for me in my life, my body, and my mental well-being.
I can now FEEL and SENSE when to take action, and FEEL and SENSE when to let go and let the process work itself out. I will get a “Ping” when I need to do a thing. This usually feels like the word “yes” is tingling throughout my body, and the top of my head feels really energetic. My stomach will drop and the word “no” feels heavy in my body when I am not. This is just one basic example of how “pings” show up for me, but there are many. I cannot tell you how and why we are all connected and how it all works… I really cannot. All I can say is that it simply is, and we can either tune into that or not. My life has been infinitely easier since I have.
So how do you start to take that journey from your mind into the body?
When you get into your body, you get the ping to do the thing, and feel a pull to let go when you need to. It takes time, but I promise you it’s worth it.