January 26, 2021

Starting Over is Messy


So many of us want something new. Something bold.

I did new and bold earlier this month. I sold my 2,500 sq ft. home outside of Uptown Charlotte, sold many of my possessions, and sold my 208 sq ft. beloved tiny house… and bought another tiny house in the mountains of North Carolina.

I did the thing I had thought about doing for years. I thought about living minimally. I thought about downsizing. I thought about living in a true community where there was a community center and activities.

Some of you may be thinking, “OMG that is so amazing and beautiful.” And truly, it is. But it was also a giant explosion of mess. You see, to truly start over, you need to be willing to destroy. And where there is destruction, there is also a hot messy mess.

Some of you see the word “mess” and immediately go to, “No thank you.” Some of you want things to be pretty at all times. I can relate as I truly value beauty in its essence. However, pretty can keep things stagnant, superficial, and stuck.

My life in Charlotte was beautiful. Truly, it was. I had a gorgeous home, lovely friends, and THE most beautiful backyard that I curated. I loved it. But it was time to start over, and I knew it for my soul.

I left this beautiful left and I am currently in a state of this:

Banana boxes up to my eyeballs. Disorganization. Chaos. It isn’t beautiful.

But let me tell you something… it’s going to be more beautiful than I could imagine.

If you want to truly and authentically start over, you have to be willing to do the following.

2. You need to be willing to get messy (and it’s not forever if you don’t want it to be)

The event of my move serves as a metaphor anywhere. When we are starting over, we must unpack our closets, our drawers. We must be willing pull everything out and let it be everywhere. This is good… because then we can start to assess and go to the next must. If we want to start over well, we also need to decide what serves us, versus what no longer does. Then we need to do the brave thing of letting go.

Ohhhh letting go. Difficulty in letting go comes from a scarcity mindset. It’s rooted in subconscious beliefs of, “There may not be anymore of what this provides me, thus I hold on.” If you want to start over truly and authentically, you need to let go of what no longer serves you in this moment, and trust that there is an abundance of whatever does serve you, so you can move on without the extra energy holding you down and back.

3. There will be surprises… turn the surprises into solutions.

And then there comes the surprises. Here comes the things you did not know you had. Like, I did not know I had about 200 hangers. Which means I also had over 200 items of clothing (whatevs, I regret nothing). But if I want to start over and truly live minimally, I cannot have 200 items of clothing. When surprises come up in starting over, you stay focused on what you want. I want to live minimally, so I focus on that rather than the 200 items of clothes. When I focus on that goal, the solutions to dealing with them come easily and with grace. I thought of selling them on Instagram stories, and it worked so well! I had fun with it, too! Stay focused on what you want, and then the surprises turn into solutions.

4. Unpack one item at a time.

It’s about the journey, not the destination. Rome wasn’t built in a day, darlin’. And when you’re starting over, allow yourself to unpack one box at a time. Live life one day at a time. It’s all coming together.

I honestly believe the inevitable mess is what holds so many of us back. I have to tell you, letting go of my amazing life in Charlotte was a little scary. It was hella messy. And now that I’m in the mountains, I feel so relaxed and at home in my new space. I could not love my new tiny home more if I tried.  There are still random socks on the ground. I still have 16 banana boxes on my covered porch. But I did the damn thing. I started over, truly and authentically. And there was no other way to get the damn job done well. Get messy. Let go. Turn surprises into solutions. Unpack one item at a time.

Shine on, shine bright,

Xoxo E

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